My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
