operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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