I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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