My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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