oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
