Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize