Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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