just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
