strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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