just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
