it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
