Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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