he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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