her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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