I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
