yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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