I CAN MOONWALK!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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