Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
