So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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