I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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