Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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