Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
