I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
