i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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