Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
