We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
