he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
