Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
