Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
