I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
