I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
