Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
