All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
