I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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