took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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