I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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