She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
