I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
