Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she pinky promised me she was 18
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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