that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
