True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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