I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
