i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
