I cut my penus on the lid.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize