watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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