That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize