I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
