i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
