Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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