why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Let's get the cat blown out
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
