i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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