Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired

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(812): View more from Indiana

I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

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(416): View more from Toronto

he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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(240): View more from Maryland

I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't

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(315): View more from New York

You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea

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(+61): View more from Australia

Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.

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