I smell stomach acid.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
