actually, I'm a sock model
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am naked and annoyed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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