Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
