people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
