Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
