look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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