I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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