We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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